It all begins with number one
18 May 2012, 11:05 PM
#1
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It all begins with number one
Do you place a higher value on a family member or other than yourself
Why ?
Who will care for them then... If you are gone
edit added;
Lets just suppose i am the family breadwinner. If something dreadful/the worst were to happen. My family will be left in a horrible position. Should i not therefore put my good being higher than on someone else..... Am i not number one.
A family break-up, divorce etc etc
Who will look after me. Am i not number one, for nothing more obvious than keeping my own sanity if everything were to fall apart....
Why ?
Who will care for them then... If you are gone
edit added;
Lets just suppose i am the family breadwinner. If something dreadful/the worst were to happen. My family will be left in a horrible position. Should i not therefore put my good being higher than on someone else..... Am i not number one.
A family break-up, divorce etc etc
Who will look after me. Am i not number one, for nothing more obvious than keeping my own sanity if everything were to fall apart....
Last edited by craigo; 19 May 2012 at 04:25 PM.
19 May 2012, 01:16 PM
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But OP is also asking "Who will care for them then... If you are gone".
I will walk through fire for my kids, mum, brother, sisters, and a cousin who has always lived with us. There are also some other people from my childhood who I value more than myself, and I'll do the same for them. Our family and social ties are strong. Therefore, I can't see my departure will cause a non-recoverable earthquake in any of their lives. If something happens to me during that walk through fire, my family members will look after one another. My children have their father and father's side of family to them keep in balance. They don't need me like they did when they were little. I'm glad that no one depends on me in a way that they'd crumble once I have excused myself. Hence my going-going-gone won't cause any everlast devastating domino effect both in physical and emotional sense on anyone.
Good thread for a reality check.
I will walk through fire for my kids, mum, brother, sisters, and a cousin who has always lived with us. There are also some other people from my childhood who I value more than myself, and I'll do the same for them. Our family and social ties are strong. Therefore, I can't see my departure will cause a non-recoverable earthquake in any of their lives. If something happens to me during that walk through fire, my family members will look after one another. My children have their father and father's side of family to them keep in balance. They don't need me like they did when they were little. I'm glad that no one depends on me in a way that they'd crumble once I have excused myself. Hence my going-going-gone won't cause any everlast devastating domino effect both in physical and emotional sense on anyone.
Good thread for a reality check.
Last edited by Turbohot; 19 May 2012 at 01:20 PM.
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19 May 2012, 02:31 PM
#8
Unless you are a selfish ego maniac then why wouldn't you place your loved ones before yourself? Why? If you have kids then you'll know why. This is why people draw up wills to ensure they can still do all that they can after they're gone. I trust my wife to be able to carry on without me looking after my kids.
19 May 2012, 03:09 PM
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But OP is also asking "Who will care for them then... If you are gone".
I will walk through fire for my kids, mum, brother, sisters, and a cousin who has always lived with us. There are also some other people from my childhood who I value more than myself, and I'll do the same for them. Our family and social ties are strong. Therefore, I can't see my departure will cause a non-recoverable earthquake in any of their lives. If something happens to me during that walk through fire, my family members will look after one another. My children have their father and father's side of family to them keep in balance. They don't need me like they did when they were little. I'm glad that no one depends on me in a way that they'd crumble once I have excused myself. Hence my going-going-gone won't cause any everlast devastating domino effect both in physical and emotional sense on anyone.
Good thread for a reality check.
I will walk through fire for my kids, mum, brother, sisters, and a cousin who has always lived with us. There are also some other people from my childhood who I value more than myself, and I'll do the same for them. Our family and social ties are strong. Therefore, I can't see my departure will cause a non-recoverable earthquake in any of their lives. If something happens to me during that walk through fire, my family members will look after one another. My children have their father and father's side of family to them keep in balance. They don't need me like they did when they were little. I'm glad that no one depends on me in a way that they'd crumble once I have excused myself. Hence my going-going-gone won't cause any everlast devastating domino effect both in physical and emotional sense on anyone.
Good thread for a reality check.
Kids would be my number 1, because they are the ones who I brought into this world, who needed my care and protection, who I unconditionally support through their vulnerable times. I'd reach the seventh sky and beyond for them, if needed.
A lot of people without kids will also have someone who they'd give their life for, and ensure their welfare for afterwards. This kind of attachment is very important for healthy survival IMO.
19 May 2012, 03:36 PM
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19 May 2012, 04:03 PM
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Lets just suppose i am the family breadwinner. If something dreadful/the worst were to happen. My family will be left in a horrible position. Should i not therefore put my good being higher than on someone else..... Am i not number one.
A family break-up, divorce etc etc
Who will look after me. Am i not number one, for nothing more obvious than keeping my own sanity if everything were to fall apart....
A family break-up, divorce etc etc
Who will look after me. Am i not number one, for nothing more obvious than keeping my own sanity if everything were to fall apart....
Last edited by craigo; 19 May 2012 at 04:08 PM.
19 May 2012, 04:11 PM
#13
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I'm only a step-parent but I'd still walk through fire for them both.
Conversely, I could also quite cheerfully strangle the pair of them most of the time
I would include the dog, MrsD, and my parents in the above too
I bet Shannon Matthews and Madeleine McCann would dispute that Gaz
Conversely, I could also quite cheerfully strangle the pair of them most of the time
I would include the dog, MrsD, and my parents in the above too
I bet Shannon Matthews and Madeleine McCann would dispute that Gaz
20 May 2012, 01:05 AM
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My Kids, my Mum and my Brothers. No one else matters 
Oh and my Kids are well provided for, when I am gone
Oh and my Kids are well provided for, when I am gone
Last edited by Lee247; 20 May 2012 at 01:06 AM.
20 May 2012, 11:48 AM
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20 May 2012, 12:00 PM
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Thanks
Not off topic though, as I put the family members mentioned, above myself. I have catered for them, should I kark it anytime soon. So, I assume I would be missed, but they would be able to manage just fine, without me. Financially, anyway
20 May 2012, 12:39 PM
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I still must say. There are many millions of people who will not leave a will or have life insurance.
Ones self needs to be the number one for a thousand different reasons.
Ones self needs to be the number one for a thousand different reasons.
20 May 2012, 01:08 PM
#23
You know, it worries me the amount of people who are so heavily reliant on their partner. I know thats part of being in a relationship, and of course with kids its a given fact they depend on their parents until a certain age.
But I know of a few people who just would be totally screwed if they lost their partner or parent.
One is a guy, his wife does nothing - doesn't work, doesn't drive, his thirty-something son is useless, doesn't drive, doesn't work. They all live in the same house, and get him to do everything.
Well he went down with pneumonia, and they were utterly screwed (we had to loan them money, do their shopping, drive them to hospital etc); Whats worse was their expectance for him to be discharged from hospital ASAP before he was well enough to carry on as before, the fact that he could have DIED and their inability to function without him seemed lost on them. I really feel sorry for the guy because he's clearly not happy and feels trapped with a overbearing burden of reposibility to his family
.
I'd never want to be in such a position. Be it the dependant or dependee.
But I know of a few people who just would be totally screwed if they lost their partner or parent.
One is a guy, his wife does nothing - doesn't work, doesn't drive, his thirty-something son is useless, doesn't drive, doesn't work. They all live in the same house, and get him to do everything.
Well he went down with pneumonia, and they were utterly screwed (we had to loan them money, do their shopping, drive them to hospital etc); Whats worse was their expectance for him to be discharged from hospital ASAP before he was well enough to carry on as before, the fact that he could have DIED and their inability to function without him seemed lost on them. I really feel sorry for the guy because he's clearly not happy and feels trapped with a overbearing burden of reposibility to his family
.I'd never want to be in such a position. Be it the dependant or dependee.
Last edited by ALi-B; 20 May 2012 at 01:10 PM.
21 May 2012, 10:57 PM
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Is reality driven by little white mice running round wheels.... One persons perception of something can be very different from an others.
Are people in general so insecure, they grasp onto anything that might give little or any sort of comfort ...
Or indeed is perhaps mind training to aid the weak minded to be approved of...
It all begins and ends with number one
Are people in general so insecure, they grasp onto anything that might give little or any sort of comfort ...
Or indeed is perhaps mind training to aid the weak minded to be approved of...
It all begins and ends with number one
22 May 2012, 07:26 AM
#25
You know, it worries me the amount of people who are so heavily reliant on their partner. I know thats part of being in a relationship, and of course with kids its a given fact they depend on their parents until a certain age.
But I know of a few people who just would be totally screwed if they lost their partner or parent.
One is a guy, his wife does nothing - doesn't work, doesn't drive, his thirty-something son is useless, doesn't drive, doesn't work. They all live in the same house, and get him to do everything.
Well he went down with pneumonia, and they were utterly screwed (we had to loan them money, do their shopping, drive them to hospital etc); Whats worse was their expectance for him to be discharged from hospital ASAP before he was well enough to carry on as before, the fact that he could have DIED and their inability to function without him seemed lost on them. I really feel sorry for the guy because he's clearly not happy and feels trapped with a overbearing burden of reposibility to his family.
I'd never want to be in such a position. Be it the dependant or dependee.
But I know of a few people who just would be totally screwed if they lost their partner or parent.
One is a guy, his wife does nothing - doesn't work, doesn't drive, his thirty-something son is useless, doesn't drive, doesn't work. They all live in the same house, and get him to do everything.
Well he went down with pneumonia, and they were utterly screwed (we had to loan them money, do their shopping, drive them to hospital etc); Whats worse was their expectance for him to be discharged from hospital ASAP before he was well enough to carry on as before, the fact that he could have DIED and their inability to function without him seemed lost on them. I really feel sorry for the guy because he's clearly not happy and feels trapped with a overbearing burden of reposibility to his family
.I'd never want to be in such a position. Be it the dependant or dependee.
22 May 2012, 07:43 AM
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22 May 2012, 08:29 PM
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I would go to the end of the earth for my kids and missus, however I would also make sure I am ok first as without being ok myself I could not do the other things
