You chaps post in a completely different language.

I just spent the last hour searching the Web to find out what a 'Scooby' was and spent an inordinate amount of time with some anoraks who were passionate about the old cartoon.

There is only so much of that one can take and I was running low on Prozac, so I was delighted to find this site (via the Evo site) and I am now happily enlightened to the fact that a 'Scooby' is a Subaru.

I am new to cars as you have probably guessed. Well, not new to cars per se, you understand - I think I have a Rover of some sort - but new to cars in any passionate, macho kind of way.

I am looking to spend £15K to have some fun. I will need a car to match my tweeds, of course, but otherwise I am open to suggestions. In fact, I have no choice but to be open to suggestions as I know nothing about cars and my concierge - Oddjob - is of little help.

Kindest regards,

Bamba Gascoigne - Man of Erudition

[This message has been edited by Bamba (edited 01 August 2001).]

 

?

 

ummm......hello...i think....

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Richard Askew:
<B>ummm......hello...i think.... [/quote]

Mr Askew,

Hello yourself. Nice to speak to you. I take it you have a 'Scooby'?

 

...errrmmm yes I have...err do I know u?? :nervous: I also have a Daphne Fred Shaggy etc etc


** Coo-ee BLOWDOG where are you??? **

 

Chris n Gaz,

rofl , is that a key i hear winding per chance? BTW Gaz how d u spell dictionary,
so i can look it up ?

 

Good morning,

An exciting day awaits. I am currently sampling the voluptuary delights of the Autocar, Top Gear and Parkers magazines. Oddjob was despatched at sunrise and returned with a plethora of automotive literature for my perusal.

One has to start somewhere and - as intimated last night - I am beginning with Porsche. I can report that I now know a 911 from a 944 and a Boxster from a Wrestler. I can see how this might be a pleasurable experience and might by tempted to uprate my £15k budget - the prices of decent second hand Porsches have persuaded me thus.

I shall report my findings shortly after elevenses.

I do however have a serious question. I have been reading about the benefits of four-wheel drive but would like to know if it is a simple equation that four-wheel drive equals better 'handling', or is it more complex than that?

Kind regards,
Bamba Gascoigne - Man of Erudition

 

*its time to play the music*
astraboy.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Bamba:
<B>
... but would like to know if it is a simple equation that four-wheel drive equals better 'handling', or is it more complex than that?

Kind regards,
Bamba Gascoigne - Man of Erudition[/quote]

Bamba - For a man displaying your grasp of the english language I'm surprised you would ask such an ambiguous question. When you mention "better 'handling'," do you mean better than a formula one car or better than a Reliant Robin? I also wonder why you have used apostrophies encapsulation the word handling? This is generally a tool used to denote the use of a slang word where no other word seems appropriate. I am entirely sure that the word handling is not slang and has appeared in sucessive versions of the O.E.D. for a great number of years now. I suspect that you are full of bull or have possibly poked your dark muppet head from the nether regions of the muppet forum. I think we should be told?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Richard Askew:
[B]...errrmmm yes I have...err do I know u?? :nervous: I also have a Daphne Fred Shaggy etc etc
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mr Askew,

It is possible that I have met you at cocktail mornings I suppose (you do not know the Bryce-Meechers do you?), although I am not one to forget a name and I do not remember yours.

I can, however, update you on my car hunting escapades. Porsche has been suggested to me and I will set Oddjob at the task of finding out about them first thing the morning. Some test driving might be in order.

Have no fear though, I will not overlook the 'Scooby' during my investigations.

However, I feel a man of my automotory ignorance should start at the beginning and look up 'car' in the dictionary and progress from there. So far, I have mastered doors, petrol caps, steering wheels and the pedals. I looked under the bonnet of a car once but it seemed a tad oily for my liking. My desires to begin enjoying the motor car are limited to the driving of them only.

I must away for this evening now. Time to pop the nightly Prozac and make for bed.

Best wishes and goodnight,

Bamba Gascoigne - Man of Erudition.

 

Damn, I hoped it would be another chance to wheel out the the keyboard picture...

 

Chris

Still chuckling to myself over that one.

As for this one, it's either the man himself or a bloke whose eaten a dictionary. Taken me 10 minutes to look up all the words......

G

 

He heh Gaz.

I ran it through BabelFish and it made sense to me in German.

ChrisB.

 

I seem to have prompted gasps of incredulity from a few posters here, but I do not for one minute believe that my ignorance in matters of cars is unique.

Mr Bloke, my reference to 'handling' (apostrophed as such) was my attempt to emphasize that the word seems to encompass a multitude of concepts when applied to cars. However, it is, as you say, a perfectly normal word and my use of apostrophes was incorrect. I will flagellate profusely by way of punishment.

My question about four-wheel drive was genuine. Perhaps I should have used the phrase 'sticks to the road', in which the use of the apostrophes may have been more appropriate, indicative as they are, in this case, of the fact that a car does not literally stick to the road. A car that literally stuck to the road would be somewhat useless, although - one presumes - excellent in terms of economy.

Whilst something of a dullard in these matters, I am aware that when a driver states that their car 'sticks to the road', they do not mean that they have hopped out at the nearest junction and super-glued the tyres to the tarmac.

My investigations continue and I can assure you they have little to do with the application of solvents.

Kindest regards,
Bamba.

 

Bamba - Are you Bamba of Mastermind fame?

 

Being a bit unfair to poor Bamba here - he's received a much better reception on the EVO forum (http://www.evo.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6326&FORUM_ID=2&CAT_ID=2&Topic_ Title=%A315k+buys+what%3F&Forum_Title=General+Foru m)

Though, to be fair, that's probably the right place to ask what sort of car to buy...

Bamba - 4 wheel drive doesn't necessarily give you better 'handling' (and I put that in quotes because handling is a composite, non-defined word, which may or may not include steering feel, turn in, stability, ride etc etc). What 4wd does give is better traction, which in turn can lead to better handling. Though to be honest I can't say my Scoob handles better than the VW Corrado it replaced, just differently (both being excellent). The Scoob can hunker down and fire itself out of bends, though, which is nice...

Best regards,

Simon

 

Sorry - can't edit my previous post to make that link fit! If you copy and paste the whole of it, then it should work.

Simon

 

Excuse my ignorance, but do we have a Jo 90
area, I'm so used to reading the daily mail as I can't understand the interlectuality of
*&%^^&%^&%^&%^£$%.............Bang, seizure in motion

 

LMAO!!!

Isn't this bloke the old chap from the fast show who sits in the armchair waffling???

 

Bamba (sic),
You seem to have changed the spelling of your first name?

Also, for such a typically English gent, you have a strange preference for the colloquially-American style of some of your transitive verbs. Your grammar is not perfect either.

I really would have expected more from such a pillar of middle-class English society.

Andrew

PS - are you and Jeremy Paxman still friends?

 

OK I don't want to play anymore. Is a transvestititive verb like a boy verb pretending to be a girl verb or something?

 

FASCINATING???

im off to find a decent thread!

 

I think your real name is Mr Logic

[This message has been edited by Dr Nick (edited 02 August 2001).]

 

Hmmm...

Peeps, Mr. Bamba has said nothing wrong, and is asking polite questions, albeit in a language that is a bit different from the, um, usual

Do we - as a community - want to be known as welcoming ? Or are we a wee bit paranoid about newcomers with a "different attitude" ?

I personally welcome Mr. Bamba and hope he stays around for a bit

Theo

 

Me too.

I've had a completely sh$t day at work, and even killing poor fools in counter strike wasn't chearing me up ...

And then I came across this post.

Mr Bamba, I don't know if you are serious or not, but you have brought a smile to the face of someone who was seriously considering handing in his resignation tomorrow.

Keep up the good work.

Andrew.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Bamba:
[B] Mr Askew,

It is possible that I have met you at cocktail mornings I suppose (you do not know the Bryce-Meechers do you?), although I am not one to forget a name and I do not remember yours.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bamba - unfortunately I am not one to partake in cocktails mornings my dear fellow....a large brandy and Don Julian Cubans are more my tipple and smoke....listen old boy if you're in the area get your people to contact mine and arrange a cucumber sandwich and croquet morning ....

 

My investigations have now taken a turn in the Ferrari direction. I had no idea that such a car could be purchased for £15-20K and I was surprised by what I saw at the 'Top Marques' web site.

Today has been about Porsche and Ferrari, but I assure you that tomorrow will be all about Scoobies (and no apostrophes). I will also be investigating Honda, Sierra and a goodly number of additional marques that have been mentioned to me on other forums.

As to Mr Andrew6321, I can do nothing but apologize for the quality of my transitive verbs. It is usually my progressives that get me in a mess though; I am prone to mixing 'could', 'should' and 'would' inappropriately. But I was unaware that this was such a bloviate hotbed and I will attempt to be more punctilious with my grammar in future.

Mr AndrewW and Mr EvilBevel, I thank you for your kind words. However, Mr AndrewW, I would caution against rash resignations and truly hope that your week ends on a high note with a successful and enjoyable day's work tomorrow.

I am fortunate enough to be a 'man of leisure' (which always sounds rude until one has seen me in my tweed undergarments), but have put in many a day's work at the hands of angry bosses in the past. They are a feature best ignored, given that a good burning is out of the question.

Kindest regards to all,
Bamba.

 

I too welcome Bamba to this forum and I hope he buys a Scoobs. If he doesn't it would be still nice for him to pop his head in and grace us with his almost faultless grammar.

One point though Bamba. You e-mail address in the Evo forum is Root@xxxxx.com, a name normally given to a Unix super user or sys administrator. Maybe you have hidden depths other than asking those Students intellectual questions. Maybe you are using an alias like many on this board. Did you choose the alias as you were on the University Challenge? While you were at University doing a Computer Science degree during which you gained your computer skills?, that would put you in my estimation between 25 and 35? Not the 60 odd that the Bamba you seem to be imitating with your slightly old fashioned prose.

The actual slight Americanisation of the language also suggest someone very IP'd up, the excellent grammar certainly puts you in the higher IQ bracket in that you seem very capable to be able to generate very good English from a IT culture littered with slang, gargon and Americanisation.

Maybe you are having a little fun with us?

You are certainly english with pretty constant dial up access as you seem to respond to posts fairly quickly. Do I assume that you are a newbie in many other such forums that you allude to in the last post?

Whatever you are welcome here and I am not trying to show you up, just making a point that the average Scoobie driver is a little more perceptive that the average member on other car forums that seem to have a slightly sycophantic tinge in many of the posts.

This the best board on the web and you would be asset whoever you really are.

G

 

Mr Gaz1048,

A very perceptive post.

My background is of a computing nature, although you flatter me with the age estimations.

I am not entirely sure from where you extrapolate the 'Americanisations' of my grammar, unless it is from my persistent use of 'ize' as opposed to 'ise'. If this is the case, then I should make you aware that I am a devotee of the Oxford English Dictionary, which stands alone amongst English dictionaries in its specification of 'ize' as the primary suffix in applicable cases.

Most dictionaries would, for example, write -

apologise (also -ize)

Whereas the OED writes -

apologize (also -ise)

The insistence of some that the 'ize' ending is the singular domain of our large-hatted friends from across the Atlantic is a common misconception in literary circles.

However, it is a trifling matter. The aim of written English is to communicate, and if that is achieved successfully then we can overlook grammatical errors and spelling mistakes if we wish. I am a terror for splitting infinitives myself, although this is now all but absorbed as a part of our esteemed language.

As to 'having a little fun'. Well, yes, you are correct. I like to have a little fun in all I do; I find it makes life so much more interesting. Whenever I write and wherever I post I try to do so with aplomb and often with my tongue firmly in my cheek, although I would rather have my tongue firmly in the cheek of a young lady if I was afforded such an opportunity. I rarely am afforded such opportunities these days though - it seems tweed just does not have the sex appeal it once did.

However, my aim of venturing into the world of automotive erotica is a genuine one and my questions regarding matters of cars are earnest, if ignorant.

Oddjob will have turned the sheets now so I will repair to bed, perhaps taking in a medicinal brandy in the study en route.

Goodnight to all,
Bamba.

 

fukcin' magic!!!!

I'd just like to say that after the SH1TE week I've been having, it's refreshing to see such a unique topic..... What a laugh!

Bamba - welcome to our shores, and I hope after you've perused all the other *****-extension alternatives, you'll pick a Scoob.* Then put a decent exhaust on it. Then induction kit. Wheels. Ice. AND for God's sake, don't forget the most important upgrade. The Fluffy Dice!!

Seriously, welcome. I hope you enjoy this BBS as much as I do.


Regards,

Scoob (BTW a lecturer by day, crime fighter by night!!)

* No offence to the other Jap Turbo nutters out there!!

[This message has been edited by ScoobyDoo555 (edited 02 August 2001).]