Spent over £200 yesterday down halfrauds on a pressure washer, some top notch wax and an electric waxer thingy. Spent 3 hours lovingly washing the Subaru last night in the baking heat until it was shining like a dime
Only to come out this morning to find it covered in tons of seagull ****e the sadistic ******* barstewards!
anyone recommend me a decent air rifle?

 

http://www.weaponsgalore.com/serverc...300&quality=85

 

Know how you feel mate. Cleaned and waxed the car the other day, went in stuck the kettle on , came back out to admire my handy work........... ahhhhh!

 

 

I get the dreaded bird **** all the time, **********ers!.

 

I preffer the paintball approach!

You will need...

1000 paintballs
Co2 powered paintball gun
diazepam or a ***
beer
friends
understanding neighbours and wife(or husband, GF, fiancee parents)
shovel
Grass cuttings

First things first -

1)Pretend you've cleaned your car
2)Get a can of beer and invite your mates round to admire your work
3)When said seagul or any offending bird appears use said paintball gun to obliterate any chances of the fockers comming back and any of your neighbours pets... ie cats that generally put paw prints on your baby
3)a] Use shovel to pick up any dead animals and place in green wheelie bin and place grass cuttings over(to disguise the smell)
4)clean car again due to blood, feathers and dead seagulls littering the area.
5)open another can of beer
6)admire the sky and car
7)talk to mates about girls you've slept with in the past(or men)

Job done

Also if you want to be tactical, you can have your mates all come in camoflage and facepaint, why not make a BBQ out of it all! Go on, give it a try...

 

Whats the shovel for, you never mentioned

 

See 3)a]

 

All is clear now