How to enjoy your Impreza
29 April 2007, 11:35 PM
#1
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How to enjoy your Impreza
A step by step guide! I have decided to share the japanese manual for my car with you all, in the hope that maybe it will enlighten you and enable you to enjoy your Impreza in a safe and secure manner. Lets start at the beginning!
1. The book! Will be referred to at all times as 'The Book', please note the capital letter B.
Now lets get started!!
2. We'll start with the basics. The car is equipped with 4 doors, this gives you the handy option of allowing passengers to travel in the rear of the vehicle. Open the rear door to allow the passenger access to the car, but please ensure the passenger is completely inside the vehicle before attempting to close the door!
Oh dear, now see what you have done?
3. Time to start the car. But wait! Check your surroundings! Ensure no family heirlooms are behind the vehicle, you should not show them disrespect by starting your car infront of them! Also ensure you are in a well ventilated area before turning the key.
4. Ok, we are ready to move. You have completed the first steps successfully, so take a relaxing seat and allow yourself to look suitably smug.
No not there! When operating the car you must sit inside it at all times, would you like to try again?
There, nice and smug, doesn't that feel good!
5. You must control your passengers! No tomfoolery must be permitted inside your Impreza, fire an angry look in their direction and they will soon fall into line!
Keep control! You let it slip, now see what happens? Toy planes are a sign of disrespect, quell the disrespect NOW!
6. Storage! Items can be stored in the boot and on your seats, but please exercise common sense, you should put that fuel can in a safe place!
Ok, is it safely in the boot? Good. But hold on, where did you leave your empty drinks container?
Oh dear, I hope your house isn't this untidy!
7. Your car is fitted with a steering wheel. If you have not seen one of these before DON'T WORRY! It cannot hurt you. It is here only to assist your control of your Impreza.
Now take a deep breath.....and lets go drive!
8. Your car should be used on roads, it will not be as effective on rough or uneven surfaces. Excursions into the forests are not recommended!
Stick to the beaten track!
Are you back on the road now? Good. But wait, its icy on the roads! Don't go too fast now!
Oh dear.....too late. More haste, less speed I think!
Thank you all, I hope you are suitably enlightened. Drive safely!
James
1. The book! Will be referred to at all times as 'The Book', please note the capital letter B.
Now lets get started!!
2. We'll start with the basics. The car is equipped with 4 doors, this gives you the handy option of allowing passengers to travel in the rear of the vehicle. Open the rear door to allow the passenger access to the car, but please ensure the passenger is completely inside the vehicle before attempting to close the door!
Oh dear, now see what you have done?
3. Time to start the car. But wait! Check your surroundings! Ensure no family heirlooms are behind the vehicle, you should not show them disrespect by starting your car infront of them! Also ensure you are in a well ventilated area before turning the key.
4. Ok, we are ready to move. You have completed the first steps successfully, so take a relaxing seat and allow yourself to look suitably smug.
No not there! When operating the car you must sit inside it at all times, would you like to try again?
There, nice and smug, doesn't that feel good!
5. You must control your passengers! No tomfoolery must be permitted inside your Impreza, fire an angry look in their direction and they will soon fall into line!
Keep control! You let it slip, now see what happens? Toy planes are a sign of disrespect, quell the disrespect NOW!
6. Storage! Items can be stored in the boot and on your seats, but please exercise common sense, you should put that fuel can in a safe place!
Ok, is it safely in the boot? Good. But hold on, where did you leave your empty drinks container?
Oh dear, I hope your house isn't this untidy!
7. Your car is fitted with a steering wheel. If you have not seen one of these before DON'T WORRY! It cannot hurt you. It is here only to assist your control of your Impreza.
Now take a deep breath.....and lets go drive!
8. Your car should be used on roads, it will not be as effective on rough or uneven surfaces. Excursions into the forests are not recommended!
Stick to the beaten track!
Are you back on the road now? Good. But wait, its icy on the roads! Don't go too fast now!
Oh dear.....too late. More haste, less speed I think!
Thank you all, I hope you are suitably enlightened. Drive safely!
James
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