Merthyr Hurricane
28 November 2008, 10:08 AM
#1
Merthyr Hurricane
Merthyr Hurricane
A major hurricane (HURRICANE SHAZZA) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit the SOUTH WALES VALLEYS in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in MERTHYR TYDFIL .
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from BARRY ISLAND and THE CASTLE BINGO were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.
RED DRAGON RADIO reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in MERTHYR TYDFIL.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, 'It was
such a shock, my little Kylie-Jade came running into my bedroom crying. My
youngest two, Tyler-Clint and Jordan-Stacey slept through it all. I was
still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning.
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from HyperValue.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought
after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa
tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits > (female), White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice
cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps
and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
** BREAKING NEWS**
Rescue workers found a girl called Cerys in the rubble , smothered in
raspberry Alco-Pop.'
Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, 'Gurnos' said the girl,'wossa
gotta do wiv you like ?'
A major hurricane (HURRICANE SHAZZA) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit the SOUTH WALES VALLEYS in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in MERTHYR TYDFIL .
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from BARRY ISLAND and THE CASTLE BINGO were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.
RED DRAGON RADIO reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in MERTHYR TYDFIL.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, 'It was
such a shock, my little Kylie-Jade came running into my bedroom crying. My
youngest two, Tyler-Clint and Jordan-Stacey slept through it all. I was
still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning.
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from HyperValue.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought
after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa
tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits > (female), White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice
cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps
and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
** BREAKING NEWS**
Rescue workers found a girl called Cerys in the rubble , smothered in
raspberry Alco-Pop.'
Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, 'Gurnos' said the girl,'wossa
gotta do wiv you like ?'
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28 November 2008, 07:31 PM
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a little girl is riding her bike down the street when a policeman on horseback stops her and ask did father xmas get you that bike ? yes she replied the polieman looks at her and says well next time ask for some reflectors to go on it and hands her a five pound fine the little girl looks at the policeman and sweetly asks did father xmas get you that horse oh yes the ppoliceman replies well said the little girl you tell father xmas the dick goes underneath the horse not on top of it
28 November 2008, 07:33 PM
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Last edited by Daz And Minty; 28 November 2008 at 07:34 PM.
28 November 2008, 08:12 PM
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a young nurse picks her patient up from theatre on returning to the ward the gentleman who is still recovering from anasethetic pulls his oxygen mask from his face and asks are my ********* black she gently pulls back the sheet cups his ********* in her hands and examines them gently finally she staites your ********* look fine sir, to which the gentleman replies that was very nice nurse but.............................ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK
DONNA
DONNA
Last edited by valley commando; 29 November 2008 at 03:36 PM.
05 December 2008, 09:45 PM
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a little girl is riding her bike down the street when a policeman on horseback stops her and ask did father xmas get you that bike ? yes she replied the polieman looks at her and says well next time ask for some reflectors to go on it and hands her a five pound fine the little girl looks at the policeman and sweetly asks did father xmas get you that horse oh yes the ppoliceman replies well said the little girl you tell father xmas the dick goes underneath the horse not on top of it
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