The Trooper 1815

iTrader: (31)

Mywife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'



I said, 'Dust.'



And then

the fight started...







******************************************







My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we

were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have

sex?"



"No," she answered.



I then said, "Is that your

final answer?"



She didn't even look at me this time, simply

saying, "Yes."



So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a

friend."



And then the fight started....







******************************************



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and

slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the

van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The

wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned

on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all

day.



I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and

slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a

different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is

terrible."



My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you

believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"



And

that's how the fight started...



******************************************



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3

seconds.'



I bought her a bathroom scale.



And then the

fight started...







******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place

expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station.



And then the

fight started...







******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social

Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's

License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had

left my wallet at home. I

told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home

and come back later.



The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That

silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed

my Social Security application.



When I got home, I excitedly

told my wife about my experience at the Social Security

office.



She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You

might have gotten disability, too.'



And then the fight

started...





******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept

staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.



My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'



'Yes,'

I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear

she hasn't been sober since.'



'My God!' says my wife, 'who

would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'



And

then the fight started...







******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my

order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."



He

said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""



Nah, she can

order for herself."



And then the fight

started...







******************************************

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not

happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I

look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

compliment.'



The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near

perfect.'



And then the fight started.....

wrx287

iTrader: (8)

:l ol1:

notfub

iTrader: (4)

genius, thanks for posting that, some crackers there.