This was posted some time ago.. 5 or 6 days.. but the nets a bit slow and it took a wrong turn at Router 5F:FC:A0:3B:AA:A2.. and ended up in Slough.. and we all know how hard it is to get out of Slough!

If I told you the technical bits behind you pressing the 'Submit New Thread' button, you'd be happy to pay people like me and Daz a small fortune..

As Daz and I have huge brains (and short legs in Dazza's case) we obviously know how it all works and it's very very complicated, I can tell you.. I'll summarise it here for those who think the Tinternet is black magic...and for Dave because Dave has a Mac. He has no real chance of understanding this as Mac's are like expensive bean cans joined with damp string.. and he thinks that these are super complicated and much better than 'normal' PC's.. PC people laugh at Dave and his friends.. but there's no telling Dave.. because he likes beans.

Anyway...
Step 1: Press the button to get Paris Hilton video..
This looks up the IP address of where it needs to go.

Step 2 & 3: Slice the file into packets and address each one
With a sharp knife, the PC slices up the data into lots of little packets and addresses each one to the address above. Each packet can contain between 500 and 2,000 characters (they are tiny and may fall into the PC). Slap on the destination's IP address, along with your computer's IP address (so the other computer knows who to write back to), and a number indicating which order these data fragments were created. eg. Breasts, arms, hair.. etc..

Step 4: Send the packets to the router
This is a small computer that acts as the doorway connecting your computer to the rest of the Internet, and decides what packets can venture out into the ‘Net to get your ****. It also acts like a bouncer to a lap dancing club, deciding which computer should be sent the packets next.

Step 5: Send each packet along the fastest possible route
The packets now bounce from router to router, very much like one of those little rubber *****. The best Paris Hilton Sites are in the US and Russia, so there may be hundreds of routers that it needs to go to and from. If at any point the network connections ahead are ever slow or broken (like an Evo), the packets are sent off along a different route to avoid the slowdown.

Step 6: Sort the packets and reassemble the file
Paris personally checks your request (that comes up with the message 'Sticky would like to see your naked wobbly and moist bits and pieces') and she sends you her picture straight back. This can be by a different route.. But it will arrive on you screen all lovely, blond and.... sweaty .. *cough*.

This whole process takes a fraction of a second...

Dave believes that his Mac sends all this via Hyperspace and that his processor is operating at a quantum level and is Quinzillions times faster than our 'Normal' PC's. We all know it's a bean can with a piece of string attached to the back...

Anyway.. Pretty fascinating stuff eh? That's why me and Daz get paid film star wages.. because we keep the whole Internet running for your enjoyment.. Don't thank us.. we love doing it...

Remember the meet is on the 27th and is at the FG as normal.. Some or all of us may be late as I'm trying to get us all in to see an SLR at a Merc opening.. (see separate thread)

So that's what will happen when I press this button..



PS.. Ms Hilton won't be there.. she''ll be busy..

 

so what about the gateway bit where you say "only if she asks nicely?"

who's end is that on and have you got enough RAM to handle it?

 

You mean it's only a fiver to get in but 50 Quid to get out because of them

Ahem.......So I've been told

 

Al you could have saved yourself a lot of time & sore fingers by typing this:

Step 1. Click below

http://computer.howstuffworks.com/in...astructure.htm

 

My damp string used to belong to Paris Hilton and is similar to this one...



...which is yet another reason Macs are better than PC's. Of course, you PC owners can't view that pic as they've probably all just crashed, for the 37th time today, and anyway, before you do you'll need to update several image drivers which will then crash the whole thing repeatedly for the next 8 days until the help desk in Bangalor identify that your videocard is incompatible with Paris' taught derriere. The whole reason Al & Daz can command their film star wages is this profound and irritating unreliability, which for some bizarre reason is simply accepted rather than just switching to Mac. Of course, many people are happy eating McDonalds even though they know they are complete and utter $hite ! I on the other hand, prefer fillet steak, Devonshire lamb, and computers that simply DO ! Ah, Macs like a woman that's always willing to perform, without question, compromise or complication. You all want one really, but you're too scared to leave the wife you know and love, even if Macs do look like Paris, in her damp string

PS. Did I mention that I have NEVER phoned a helpdesk, that my Mac hasn't crashed in 3 years, has never had to run anti-viral software, hasn't been optimized/frag'd (or whatever you call it) in 3 years, is 6 years old with a measly 400mhz processor and only a 9.7gb HD, and yet runs perfectly fine and completes any task I throw at it ( except running a few trivial PC games apps.). Oh, and it is now possible to install Mac OS X on a PC if you have the know-how It's a brave new world, but it's only for the brave, and stylish, and intelligent, and open-minded

 

BTW, see you at the meet, if my router can find the place

 

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU FIND YOUR WOMEN???

 

I'm running a Mac emulator on my Ninja PC, on which I have a PC emulator running, which is running an Amiga emulator. It hasn't crashed for EWRtbvvvvwerr
eRC
qCRec4
e
E



W



QVCQV


cc
cccr




rer


qE
e
e
we
E
4


£Tv


t


B
65 n
3q6B
~
%y
n u
$5
6
Gv
q36
mny
6
43
5
!3
46

734

G451gv4
£h6

b
7
b

%$

£q


£$
y
£%^

%^3
&y b365u

 

...at least 30 seconds.




Mildly amusing original post Mr (read it and fell off my Chair)man.

Dave, you might want to try switching to a faster processor. I've heard that Netto beans tins are made from a more conductive steel than you Heinz ones, and are good for a few more blobs (technical term) of data

 

Can't eat beans on the Atkins diet mate Shouldn't drink beer either

Do they do decent tinned tomato's In a decent tin

 

Now that is funny, once again our illustrious leader excels...
I did scour the net for pics of PH but my router thingy was dissecting packets all over the place...found a really juicy shot and downloaded it only to find this!




Jeez...

 

That's more 'East Ardsley B&B' than 'Paris Hilton', mate

 

I've just gone off PH

 

Ooooohhhhh!!!!!!!

Al!!!!!!


OOOOOOOOooooooooooohhhhhhhh!

 

Very feminine hands you've got there, Sticky.

Or was Paris cleaning up for you...

PS if thet're male hands, it's the cr*p resolution on this daytime monitor

 

Very feminine hands you've got there, Sticky.

Or was Paris cleaning up for you...

PS if they're male hands, it's the cr*p resolution on this daytime monitor

 

Apple. So good.. he posted twice..

Tenuous.. but valid.

 

Eh?

Apple...

Twice...

Big Apple...

New York...

So good they named it twice...

Your dictionary must have a very different definition of tenacious to mine

 

Eh

 

He he.. You beat me to it.. I wasn't going to let a mistake like that go without punishing...

 

Oh my God, sometimes I just wonder if my superior intellect has been given to me as a burden to carry through life. Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and all I get asked to do is 'escort the prisoners'
Typical

I would like to bring the attention of those in question to the at the end of the thread.
SN have thoughtfully providedthese emoticons in order for us to not have to stick words at the end of the posts such as 'do you get it?' or 'look Guys, irony' or ' ****, how can I dig myself out of this hole'

 

Quote, "

retentive: good at remembering (see "elephants never forget" ); "an anally retentive mind"; "tenacious memory"
* dogging: stubbornly unyielding (has been known) ; "dogged persistence"; "dour determination"; "the most vocal and pertinacious of all the critics"; "a mind not gifted to discover truth but tenacious to hold it (or any other bit)"- T.S.Eliot; "men tenacious of opinion"
* coherent: sticking together; "two coherent sheets" (back to the PH & kleenex again ); "tenacious burrs"

" Unquote

 

Since we're doing quotes, here goes........

* dogging: stubbornly unyielding (has been known)

******* - watching people ******** in parked cars; meeting up with random strangers for sex in cars it's all about the cars

.....................so I've been told

 

So that's why we meet once a month in a dark car park...

 

Having seen you lot in daylight, believe me when I say that it's best to meet in the dark

 

I think I knw where we're headed.

Our old nickname used to be the 'Old Leather Pickers' (for those who don't know - our very first photo from the very first meet (Chris's 1872 leica box camera) in the FB was taken under a sign simply saying 'Old Leather Pickers')

Maybe the nickname should be reborne and 'Desperate Doggers' used instead?

 

As Chairman, you could then 'indogtrinate' new members, non-Chairman committee types could be 'Deputy Doggers'

I'll pick me coat up on't way out

 

Another WYIOC convoy heading for the FG yesterday

 

Well with 2 double D references in the last 3 posts, courtesy of Al and Apple, it seems we have gone full circle and arrived back at our start point, PH



Well okay maybe not quite DD but hey who really cares

 

She's barely a double A, but that suits me just fine