Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since
she
had to
go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key
under
the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll
mail
you a check ."
Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But,
whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I
REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he
discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just
asshe had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the
repairman
go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant
yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't
contain
himself any longer and yelled,
Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"


To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen!

 

FW: Marriage is SharingThe sharing of marriage...
>
>
>
> The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a
> drink.
>
> He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing
> one
> half in front of his wife.
>
> He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two

> piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
>
> He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup
> down
> between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the
people
> around them were looking over and whispering.
>
> Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can
> afford
> is one meal for the two of them.'
>
> As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and
> politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
> said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
>
> People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a
> bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking
> turns sipping the drink.
>
> Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
> meal
> for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to
> sharing everything.' Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping
his
> face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the
little
> old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is
it
> you are waiting for?'
>
>
> She answered
>
>
> (Continue below - This is great)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'THE TEETH.'
>